Cultural Traps
Section outline
-
Living and working in Thailand for 15 years there have been many cultural traps that I have fallen into. At one stage I was asked to do a talk at a local university about the differences between our two cultures. That presentation is what I have re-written for this article.
It is mostly off my own experiences and when reading remember that behaviours and cultural differences don't rely on absolutes they rely on tendencies towards a behaviour pattern based on our different cultures.
Hopefully this may help a few of our teachers understand the culture they are working in and the respect they are given as teachers in Thailand.
The word ‘tendency’ แนวโน้ม naaeoM no:hmH
When discussing differences it must be kept in mind that everyone is basically the same. We are all trying to get from one end of our life to the other with minimal problems.
Collectivism / Individualism
Asian and western cultures are broadly categorized as Collectivist for Asian and Individualist for Western.
Collectivists tend to have the following general characteristics. (Partial list)
- Family is the centre of thinking and action.
- Children support parents financially where possible and with support.
- Individual happiness is often second to family or group happiness.
- It is important to not ‘lose face’. seen to maintain a level of credibility and control and not have decisions or actions questioned.
- Individuals given respect according to status.
- Group or village will take on the task of being a child’s parent.
Individualists tend to have the following characteristics. (Partial list)
- Become self sufficient.
- Leave home and start work at a young age. (Although this is changing a little).
- Become self sufficient then help parents if they need help. (pride can often inhibit from helping).
- Never give respect unless it is earned.
- No one would chastise a mothers child as this would be saying she is not a good mother.
Importance hierarchy
Western: Self sufficiency due to work – family – food – friends.
Asian: Extended family - food – work.
Food
Western: Feeding others is not showing respect or importance but more of like minded persons getting together. (friends)
Asia: Feeding others is a demonstration of how important the guests are to the host. (status)
For new comers to Thailand this can sometimes have negative connotations if you do not turn up to a dinner engagement.
Asians often expect some food to be left over so they know their guest has had plenty.
Westerners will try to eat all the food offered as it is rude to waste food. The host may think you don’t like their food.
This can lead to humorous situations where the host keeps filling the plate with food and the Westerner eats considerably more than they normally would.
The reverse being the Westerner is upset as the Asian did not eat all their food so they obviously did not like it.
Workplace
A good management system that works under nearly all conditions for westerners is loosely termed a shared management system.
One of the most important aspects of a shared management system is being informed.
Westerners want to be informed. It is how they learn to fit in and be part of a team. It shows the westerner that they are important enough to be told all the smaller details so they can plan how they will work at a professional level.
Westerners like to discuss everything so they can be sure of the role they must play and how it meshes with others around them. Management outlining the limits of discussion so now all know how to do a professional job. Not informing people is how persons in western societies are removed from the workplace as they cannot do their work at a professional level.
Asians often think westerners are arguing about their decisions so feel they are ‘losing face’ rather than the westerner clarifying their position so they can carry their work out at a professional level.
Loss of face is especially important to understand as many Asians will overreact in circumstances where they feel the embarrassment of loss of face. For westerners it is best to just let it go if the boss has overreacted to something. Trying to sort it out to understand what happened often makes the situation worse.
Asian management tends to be top-down management 1st boss 2nd boss 3rd boss 4th worker. No discussion everything is on a need to know basis.
Compliance not initiative is important although this does appear to be slowly changing.
Manager sets guidelines for discussion.
Everyone expected to have an input.
Typical statement could be
‘This is where I want to be now take me there’.
Everyone is expected to have a creative, professional and intellectual input.
Decisions are made at the top levels. There are some places where discussion takes place, but the implication is compliance.
Very little initiative at the bottom levels as they are not informed enough to have an input.
In the classroom.
Students Ask questions as active learners.
Some teacher leaves things unsaid so there will be questions.
Lots of project-based work with creative thinking
Students Passive receivers and must listen.
Tch’s teach everything.
Lots of knowledge-based work with answers supplied. 
This is changing rapidly in the bigger schools as younger teachers are being trained differently.
Electronic media use.
Considered normal in most countries
Considered bad manners in most countries.
When a conversation impinges on others thinking and personal tranquility it is considered rude.
When the person on the other end of the phone is considered more important to talk to than your friends who you are with.
Many westerners will consider themselves not important enough when their host plays with their phone so the guest will leave early.
Many western groups now make it policy to place their phones on the table at a restaurant and the first phone to ring pays for the evenings food and drinks.
Teachers
Teachers hold a very different place in society in Asia. They are actually considered to be important people.
Western teachers have to work very hard to gain respect and then it is mostly grudgingly given. This is regardless of the importance of the work they do.
There is a tendency to blame every problem society has on teachers.
Bad parents. politicians and bosses without experience, blame teachers for all societies problems. How many politicians have we heard say "I am going to fix education" and 5 years later we find there was nothing to fix.
Asian Teachers are respected by default and if they do a decent job they are held in remarkably high esteem.
If there is any doubt Google Wai Kru. This is teachers day in Thailand.
With this level of respect Foreign teachers need to conduct themselves with the highest integrity and dress neatly at all times in society. The community watches teachers very closely and has high expectations of them.
Older Asians
Older people expect to have family around and to be part of the family decision making process.
Extended families can often consist of Grandparents, aunties and uncles or mixtures of these.
Older people are mostly kept as part of the family and are respected due to age.
Older Westerners
Once westerners reach the old peoples homes they are often forgotten about and they stop being able to have an input into family and grandchildren.
Older People are often placed in communal homes and not kept as part of the family unit. (independence)
This is sometimes a choice but now there is an understanding that helping older people stay in their own homes has new importance.
On the road
Accident fatalities are very high in Thailand and due to the dense population of cars and people it is hard to get places unless you push in. Some motorcyclists do not look they just amble out on to the road believing they are going so slow that nobody will hit them.
Thais are very forgiving for those that nose in-front of them to cross lanes or enter streams of traffic.
Westerners are very parochial about their piece of road and get upset when others cross lanes in front of them even half a kilometer away.
As a simple statement if a westerner suffers from mild road rage then do not bother driving in Thailand
Thailand needs patient and observant drivers.
Greetings Handshakes and Wai.
Some Westerners have problems with the Wai. Be assured it is the same as a handshake and has similar cultural significance.
The wrong type of Wai to a Thai is the same as the wrong type of handshake and greeting to a westerner.
Firstly the handshake.
A person who grabs very hard is trying to dominate and this is often an indication of a person who is a bully.
The weak handshake is often called the wet fish. Many westerners consider this type of handshake indicates a person who is not strong of character.
A good firm handshake indicative of two persons showing equal respect for each other.
Hello greeting must be with an enthusiastic voice as if pleased to see them. Not over the top as this is false enthusiasm.
Missing you already (very false) If it is meant as a joke it is more than likely inappropriate where a person is trying to show respect.
The basic rules for the wai are the level that your hands are at.
The hands are held at about the same level. If you are wai-ing to Buddhist monks the thumb knuckles should be at about the bridge of the nose for older people that deserve a lot of respect as a rough guide have your thumb knuckles level with your nose or as the picture shows. Do not act stupidly or 'horse about' when using the wai as it shows a lack of respect and you could accidentally insult royalty which is a criminal offense.
Young to old wai the hands are held at different levels. For adults it is important to keep your hands lower than younger persons such as students. In a worst case scenario the student could think you are mocking them which of course will embarrass them mainly because if an adult instigates the wai to a young person they believe that you are shortening their lives. If they do not feel mocked then they most likely laugh to themselves that the foreigner did not learn much about Thailand before they visited.
Personal Space
A westerner would often back away a little when talking to an Asian because Asians are often inside the westerners perceived personal space reserved for family and lovers.
An unknowing westerner will misinterpret an Asian female intruding on his personal space as being she wants to be his female partner.
Males intruding on a western ladies personal space will make the lady think he wants to have a special relationship so she will often back away or if she stays close an innocent Asian will not understand that she is happy to have a relationship.
Touching people.
Asian: Males touching males and females touching females is normally appropriate.
Westerners: Males don’t touch anyone but a female can instigate a touch or a hug.A westerner would often back away a little when talking to an Asian because Asians are often inside the westerners perceived personal space reserved for family and lovers.
Being a westerner the author was in Thailand 2 days when a Thai man sat down beside me and started running his hand up and down my leg. The man did not mean anything by it he was just fascinated by the hair on my skin. In Thailand this type of action was appropriate but the author still feels very uncomfortable when males make any type of physical contact.
Westerners: Males don’t touch anyone but a female can instigate a touch or a hug.
Asian: Males touching males and females touching females in appropriate places is considered normal.
Westerners tend to reserve the space that is close to them for family and lovers. When others move into this space they can often send the message to the westerner that you want to have a special lovers relationship. This can lead to misunderstandings when the person only wants to be a friend.
Like and Love
For westerners these two words have signifcantly different meaning to how they are often used in Thailand.
People will often say they love you but for the westerner it is closer to the word like.
For a westerner like is for my friends or I like my beer.
'I love my wife and ice-cream'. would be more how a westerner uses these words.
Desired Body Shape
Asian: Delicate fine boned artistic with strong character and no body hair are the Thai sort after characteristics.
Western: Slightly bulky muscular strength slightly aggressive and sometimes with body hair can be considered sort after attributes for many persons.
Many westerners think body hair = virility (อกสามศอก ohkL saamR saawkL)
Most Asians think body hair = monkey
Reasonably important considerations if someone is looking for a partner.
Emotions
Asians and westerners tend to display emotions differently.
Culturally it is bad form and bad manners for Asians to display strong emotions in public. Westerners tend to display there more aggressive feelings more.
Invitations
Westerners
Will not attend a function or a party unless invited. It is considered bad manners.
Asians
Are often considered invited if they know about the function.
For example Sonkran party at school.
We all know it is on but have not been invited so will not attend.Understand each other so there will be friends around the world.